Perfection.

"I'm not good enough..."


How many times do you tell yourself that in a day? Be honest, we all do it. It's definitely a flaw that I have and a problem I face. I catch myself saying "I'm not good enough for him," "I'm not good enough to be in that show," "I'm not good enough to get there" or "I'm not good enough for this or that" "I'm not pretty enough," or "I'm not skinny enough, funny enough, sweet enough, etc".... literally daily. But honestly, who's the judge of that? Who is it that can tell you you're not good enough? YOU are your worst critic. We are all flawed. It's the realizing, accepting, and getting over the fact, that's the hard part. I am really hard on myself. I'm open-minded and pretty non-judgmental... except for toward myself. I realized that I don't really judge other people in their way life- decisions, choices, experiences they are having and making... but me.. I am CONSTANTLY judging myself, putting myself down, comparing myself to all those around me. 


I went to the lake today with some friends and of course, I couldn't help but compare myself to all the other girls that were there. Longing for her body, or her swim suit, her hair; wishing I had her clear, tan skin, or her perfectly curved, toned, and sexy body. And of course, it made me feel like crap. Why do we do that? Why are we always comparing ourselves to everyone and and everything else around us? Because we strive to be perfect? Well, what is the definition of perfection anyway?


PERFECTION: the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art.


As far as I'm concerned, no one is perfect. We are all flawed, and we are all learning.
Yet, at the same time.. we are all Perfect. We are perfect beings living in a perfect world. Because what would life be without chaos, destruction, and heartache? It would be boring, right? It may sound wonderful, but it just wouldn't be real, or honest.


I'm going to try my hardest to focus on positive things about myself and really try to learn to appreciate who I am. Once I learn appreciation, maybe I'll be able to progress from there, and grow to love the person I am, flawed or not. I will always have problems. But if I'm focusing on positive things, I will attract more positive things in my life. And right now, that's something I really need. Maybe other people will learn to love and appreciate me as well, when I can learn to truly love myself.

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.