The Activist-Vegan, and PROUD.

Hello friends. I have not written a blog in a long time, but I sit down to type this evening over a very important matter. Most of you know, that I made the decision to become a Vegan nearly a year ago, last November. However, until now, I still hadn't fully transitioned. I occasionally would eat some ice cream or frozen yogurt, and I still loved my seafood. I haven't touched any other meat since day 1, but sushi, fish... I couldn't give it up. Until today. As I was browsing the internet for good vegan recipe websites, I came across an awesome one called chooseveg.com. They have recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, and even desserts! I was loving it! Then I decided to check out even more of it's content and researched under it's tab "For the Animals" and let me tell you... my life has been changed. Forever. There's about a 12 minute video titled "Farm to Fridge- the transformation of animals into food." I BAWLED throughout the entire video. I was sobbing, and had to turn away from the computer screen at many parts. It is awful. But most of all, people have NO CLUE what is even happening behind the scenes. The way these animals are being treated is horrifying, disgusting, disturbing, and wrong. They haven't done anything to deserve this kind of treatment. I cannot even imagine what goes through those workers minds to possibly think that what they are doing to these poor creatures is ok? It's sickening. If you have the stomach, please watch the video. It'll give you a better idea of what happens to the animals you are consuming on a day to day basis, and what they are going through and enduring to end up on your plate. From this day forward, I vow to live my life a VEGAN, consuming wholly a plant-based diet. I have decided to become a major animal rights activist and will do whatever it takes to make people aware and help them make the transition to vegetarian/veganism as well. I will donate my time, efforts, and money to foundations for animal rights and live completely animal-free. Some of you may poke fun and think I'm crazy, but I'm proud to be who I am. There's more to it than just animal rights as well. Research it. I promise you won't be disappointed in what you find. Eating a plant-based diet is SO much healthier not only for your body, but the environment as well. Our society is obese and full of disease. But we can make a step forward to change that. I'm currently in the process of watching the documentary "Forks Over Knives" too. It's available on Netflix, so if you get the chance, I would highly recommend watching it. There's also a book called "The Veganist" as well as "The Chinese Study" that will give you better insight into a vegan diet. There is tons of stuff on the subject. People wonder where you get your protein or calcium and worry about having to cook vegan and not having anything to eat but vegetables. But there are SO many amazing vegan recipes! I LOVE eating vegan. It's much more rich and flavorful and fresh! I HATE eating fast food, it makes my body feel like crap. I love eating healthy. I promise you, you will feel SOO much better. It does nothing but good. I'm still researching and learning too, I certainly don't know everything and love making new discoveries and trying new recipes and such. This post isn't to make anyone feel bad or anything, just to simply make people AWARE and express my opinions on the matter, and explain why I've chosen to become a vegan. I have not and will not ever regret my decision. I am completely 100% satisfied. VEGAN and PROUD.
Here's the video if you have the stomach to watch it. I will warn you, it is VERY disturbing and extremely hard to watch. But, it's REAL. This is happening all over the world. And it needs to stop. Please, take a stand with me. Show your support to the animals. Explore a natural vegan diet. You won't regret it.

A Rising Star

The other day as I was driving in my car, on a warm sunny St. George day with the windows rolled down, heading back to school from my lunch break, I found inspiration. I haven't written a blog in over 5 months... But why? What was I waiting for? Waiting for something big to happen to me that I could write about? Waiting for inspiration? Waiting for myself to come up with something clever to say? And, I honestly don't know the answer. Maybe I was purely just being lazy. But writing is healing to me. I find peace and comfort in expressing myself with simple words. It's easier for me to let these emotions flow not out loud, but on paper, or in this case, on a computer screen. Now, most of you probably know that I desire to become a singer. And along with that, I have a folder top FULL of songs. Songs that I have written myself. Most of them are just lyrics on a sheet of paper right now, but they mean something to me. Each of those songs, each lyric on that simple piece of paper came from somewhere inside of me. They are me. Each song is dedicated to a specific person or event in my life. Each one has meaning, has heart, has a background. Each one tells a story. And maybe that's cliche, but I have to write about something, it has to hold importance to me. But that also makes me unique. It puts me in a position of vulnerability, allowing the world to take a peek into my personal life, allowing people to see the real me. Because those words are my feelings, my hopes, my dreams, my emotions, my heart, and my soul. And I hope with every ounce of my being that people will not only like my music, but if at least ONE person, one, is able to relate to something I wrote; that is more than I could ever ask for. That I could give even just one girl, or one boy that spark of hope, the support they need to keep going, or the understanding of knowing what him/her is going through... is incredible to me. I have SO much passion for performing. For singing especially. It's what I love more than anything in this world, and is what keeps me going and pushing through each day. It's the only thing I want to do for the rest of my life. I am having THE hardest time with hair school right now. I'm simply not happy. And it's because I feel like I'm not doing what I really WANT and KNOW I need to be doing with my life. Going to hair school was my plan B, my backup plan, a way for me to (once I graduate) make good money while trying to get myself discovered. But it's tough. I don't know how much I'm even going to use my license and these skills I'm learning once I graduate. Every single day I ask myself what I'm doing there. Why I'm in hair school and not just constantly working on getting myself out there. Well, I've been told SO many times in the past that I can't do it. That I will never make it. Which is why I think I doubt myself so much. It hasn't been until recently that I've actually felt some support, from the girls I've met at hair school and a few others. There are people who believe in me, even a few who believe in me more than I believe in myself. Who constantly remind me that I CAN do this, and to never give up on my dreams. We were having a discussion about passion in hair school last week, and of course I talked about singing being my passion. One girl noted that it seems to be those who have constantly been told, "you can't do it", "you're not good enough", "you'll never make it", who go the farthest. So I am determined to prove every person wrong who has ever told me that I can't..... that I CAN. And they will give me the drive to become better, stronger, and rise to the top. I grew up a very shy little girl. Softspoken and naive. I always knew that I loved singing, and I've been singing for as long as I can remember. But I was never really open about it. I kept my voice to myself mostly. I performed in choirs and lots of different groups throughout my childhood, but it was when I booked a lead in my 9th grade musical that I really started to shine. It was the 2nd musical I'd ever done, the year before we did Annie and I was radio singer. This year, Kaysville Junior High was to present Oklahoma! I was 14. I wanted to play the part of Laurie, and I was called back for both her and Ado Annie. In call backs, I was paired up with my best friend Mark to read for the part of Will, and I as Ado Annie. I also had the biggest crush on him at the time too. The second we started reading for the parts together, everyone knew we'd be cast in the roles. The chemistry was instantaneous and perfect. My family came to see the show, of course. And my parents have told me later on that when I came out on stage to sing my big solo "I Cain't Say No" they were literally shocked. I mean, they knew I could sing, but they had no idea what I was capable of. Because I'd kept it so quiet throughout my lifetime. But I was hooked. I discovered my absolute passion, and knew I could never live without it. You put me on a stage, and I transformed. It's like a completely different girl comes out. I am very self-conscious. I have a low self-esteem and not much self confidence. I am afraid of others judging me and hate it when people dislike me. Which seems weird that I would crave the stage so much right? It puts you in the highest position of  vulnerability to be judged and watched. All eyes are on you. But you know what? I don't care. I love it. The stage is my home. It's my comfort zone. It's the place I'd much rather be over anywhere else in the world. I am most myself in that position. I can express myself so much easier through song than I ever could just speaking. It hits home for me. Music is so incredibly powerful. One of my amazing teachers/musical director's in high school told us that in a musical, a song is placed where the emotion is SO powerful that you can't just express it in dialogue. It has to be expressed through song, because the stakes are that much higher and the emotion just bursts! And that's how it is for me too. Writing songs is so healing. It's how I pull myself up when I'm feeling down, how I cope with and mend my broken heart, how I express deep feelings of love, adoration, and loneliness. I express myself through song, through lyrics, through music. It's like when you're driving in your car with the radio on, a song comes on and you realize just how perfect it is for that exact moment in time. Everyone can feel it, how powerful the emotion is that connects to the listener. Obviously different people will interpret songs differently and we all have our own opinions and ways of thinking, but even still; each of those listeners was affected in some way. I have moments of self-doubt. Lots of them. Moments when I wonder what the hell I'm thinking in wanting to become a singer. Moments when I wonder why I have such big dreams. Why couldn't I wish to become something much more easily attainable? Moments when I realize how many other girls there are out there, just like me, who want the exact same thing... so why on earth would anyone ever pick me? Well I need to realize that these questions don't matter. I have to stop asking them. And need to start believing in myself. Because without my own support, I am nothing, and I will get no where. And that would be a huge waste. I will never give up. I will work and work and work until I make it. Because I feel that I have so much to share. I desire to share my voice, my talent, and my music with the world. I know it's going to be hard, and I know that I will have to fight harder than I've ever fought, because I'm not perfect.. but in the end, it will all be worth it. I'll be able to look back and say, "I did it". And that is the biggest accomplishment.

An End.

The title of this blog is "An End" instead of "The End" for a reason. Because this really isn't THE end of anything, really... just AN end of a single summer... a single summer that very well may have been the best summer of I've had thus far. ;) Let's see if we can highlight even a FEW things I did this summer..
-Coffee Club. Coffee Club was a marvelous thing. I know a lot of people think it's cliche and stupid, but I loved it. I met new people, current friendships grew, and I ended up becoming friends with people I never expected to.  Plus, we just had some good old fashioned fun, drinking coffee together, playing games, and talking. What great times we had! :)
-Lake Trips. We took SOO many lake trips, and every single one was a blast! Really enjoyed spending time in the sunshine with good company.

John, Braeden and I

Me and Mindy

Morgan, Me, Sceri, and Jeromy

Mindy, Sceri, Me, and Mo.... and Jason ;)

Me, Kendle and Lauren

-Menchies. Menchies was a great treat to cool us off in the summer heat.

Joseph and I

Me and Chase

Friends at Menchies :)

Me and Jordan

C.C. 4 Eva! :)

-Movies. I saw SOO many movies this summer! It was AWESOME! Let's see if I can remember them all....

*Water For Elephants

*Brides Maids

*Green Lantern

*The Hangover Part 2

*Super 8

*Soul Surfer

*Kung Fu Panda 2

*Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

*TRON

*Transformers 3

*Pirates of the Caribbean 4

*X-Men First Class

Pirates 4

Kung Fu Panda 2

X Men First Class

Green Lantern

Harry Potter

Hangover 2

I also watched a billion movies... but I'm not even going to try to remember all those... haha

-Anti-Gravity. We went there many times.

-The Waterfalls at Gunlock. BEAUTIFUL!!!

-Making Cookies :)

Teddy Bears in Love <3

-Camping. Even camping just for one night is a blast. So awesome to have friends that will go out into the woods and sleep in a tent. We had so much fun!

-Planking. Well.... that's all there is to it. Planking.

Plank Teepee!

-Sister/Sibling dates.

-Swimming. LOTS of Swimming/Hot Tubbing

(Getting a waterproof camera for my birthday has DEFINITELY been put to good use this summer! LOVE it!)

-Star Gazing in Snow Canyon/Playing in the SandDunes

-Funerals... :( Unfortunately went through a few deaths this summer. A good friend and peer, Nolan Anderson, a soon-to-be senior in high school passed away peacefully and quietly in his sleep. And my little cousin Tegan. She was just a year old. Had been fighting for her life, living in the hospital, since birth. Unfortunately I never got to meet the sweet angel. And even though it's hard, everything happens for a reason, and we must learn how to accept and embrace that. Rest in Peace, Nolan and Tegan.

-Playing in the rain. Summer rain is the best. I love it. I love to sing and dance in the rain. And we did just that!

Absolutely SOAKED!

Friends Forever

Tap Dancing in the RAIN :)

So. Much. Fun.

-Birthday Parties! (Self explanatory)

-Vegas Trip! I was lucky enough to take a day trip to Vegas with some girlfriends for my friend Morgan's birthday. We had a great time!

-Random outings with friends. We did so many random things this summer, I wouldn't even know where to begin! But we sure did have some fun!

-Daddy's Birthday. My whole family but me and my dad were out of town on my dad's birthday, so we got to have a daddy/daughter lunch at Red Robin! And Kaitlin tagged along. I love my dad! :)

-Fires! There were quite a few fires out in Ivins this summer... like 3 or 4, I think! Crazy!

-Family outings. Sakura opened this summer. We went there a couple times. It is SOOOOOO good!!! If you haven't been there, you must go! ASAP! It's amazing!! :)

SUCH an AMAZING plate of food!

-Tuacahn Shows. I have lots of friends in the casts of Little Mermaid and Grease, and I loved going and supporting them and watching them perform! 

Josh!

Tino!

Vincey Baby!

Kayla!

Going to Grease!

-TSTI Reunion. Well, I already wrote a whole blog about just that weekend. But it was definitely a HIGHLIGHT of my summer, so I have to include it. I love Kyle, Sceri, Tasha, Keef, Taylor, and Crystal with all my heart! Such an amazing, fun filled weekend, we had a BLAST!

-Smokey Joe's. The show that has consumed my life for the past 3-4 months! I was lucky enough to be cast in Broadway West Theater's production of Smokey Joe's Cafe. We started rehearsals the end of May, and performed 19 shows July 25-August 20. Made some great friends, got to work with some extremely talented people, and had a blast performing onstage again!

-Family. My cousins from Florida and Arizona came down for a couple of days and it was SO great to see them! I hadn't seen them in at least a year and a half!

Tori, Haley, Me, and Steven

The Higgins and The Orams + Tori! :)

Victoria, Haley, and I

The Girls

Me and Steve. Steven is my ONLY cousin on both sides of the family who is MY AGE. He's my favorite cousin. We get along so well. Love you Steve! :)

Oram Family

The Oram Clan.

Cousins :)

I know there's SO much more I could talk about, but this blog post is already a million miles long! Haha I had quite an AMAZING summer, I'm lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. I wish them all luck in their future endeavors- school, work, moving, getting married, having babies, etc. I've got one month left til I start the next big project in my life. Cosmetology School! I start September 27th at Taylor Andrew's Academy of Hair Design and Esthetics here in St. George, and I CAN'T WAIT! I had my play time, and now it's time to get serious! ;)